Return of the Cleef

Return of Sabata means a return to the character from the first movie. One again, Sabata is a gambler, going into dangerous situations with the odds stacked against him all on the chance that he'll win big. Our man loves to live dangerously. Saabaaaaaaataaaaaaaa, Sabaaaaaaaataaaaaaaaa! The fastest gun in the west!

But what's this? Sabata's wearing a frilly shirt and working in a circus?!!? Le gasp! What's going on here???

*Sigh* The plot is a bit convoluted.

Sabata joined the circus to follow a counterfeiter, figuring that he'd hit on a money-making scheme. This leads Sabata to a small but growing Texas town where he runs into fellow Confederate army soldier, Clyde (who refers to Sabata as Major).

The lieutenant here owes Sabata money and can only get his lucky medal back from Sabata after he pays him. Clyde here is our "Banjo." No quirks , just the standard team-up-then-betray-your-partner-so-you-can-run-off-will-all-the-loot schtick.

Also bumming around is Bronco (the lovable Ignazio Spalla), who loves his town and proves it by banging on a big bass drum. Don't ask.

Anyway, Sabata runs into trouble when he refuses to pay the ridiculous taxes on everything from bullets to prostitutes. All these taxes are put in place by Joe McIntock, town leader (and Irish mafia boss?) Who plans to convert all the money to gold and skip town with it.

Irishmen...gold....Must...resist urge...to make....leprechaun...joke.

GOLD! GOLD! HEHEHEEEEEEEEEE!

Ahem, moving on.

Also here to help Sabata are two acrobats, Bionda and Angel. (Psst, Angel, on the right, is played by Aldo Canti/Nick Jordan. The same guy who played Alley Cat in the first Sabata.) I believe they're pickpockets who work for Clyde, but who cares why they're there. They've got trampolines!!!

Bouncy, bouncy, bouncy.If there's gold for the stealing, Sabata's on the case! Or, y'know, expose the cankering worm of corruption eating away at the heart of this fair town. Whatever. MONEY! THAT'S WHAT WE CARE ABOUT!

If you wanna get money! If you wanna get rich! And if you wanna good life, you gotta be a sonuva...Bum ba dum ba dum bum bum!

This movie's slow going at first. There's lots of twists and turns, so you've got to pay attention. It alls fits together, but there are so many fake-outs, it's hard to know which ways up. Some people say this is a poor successor to the first movie (and, by god, they stick Cleef in a toupe! What the hell is wrong with them!), but the Cleef's still got it, in my opinion. It could have been funnier if they kept the plot simpler. But pop this sucker in, and let it wash over you. There's gold in them thar spaghetti. Get a fork and dig in!

Sabata: the Sequels!!!

Okay, so I got curious. Maybe it's because I finally learned that Yul Brynner played the cowboy in Westworld (yes, I get it now). Or maybe I had too much free time. But I watched Adios Sabata and Return of Sabata. I could practically review these two movies together, because, frankly, they both have the same plot. In fact, it's the same plot as the first movie. You'd think this would be boring, right WRONG! In Adios Sabata Yul Brynner is hired by Mexican revolutionaries to steal gold from some Austrian military guys. Hot damn! I guess this is sexy Sabata. Er....I mean, he's no Lee Van Cleef, but the gaping shirt sure helps make up for that. Supposedly, his character was called Indio Black in the Italian version, but Sabata in the international release, capitalizing on the first movie's popularity.

Anyway, he meets up with one of the leader of the revolutions, Escudo (Pedro Sanchez/Ignazio Spalla).He looks familiar, right?!?! Coincidence? Nope, he was the drunk from the first movie! Looks like he'd our comic relief yet again. Escudo has his two faithful "swooping hawks" as he calls them:

Septiembre (Salvatore Borghese). A man who doesn't talk, loves musical pocket watches, and has this neat trick where he flings metal ball bearings with his feet. I repeat, he has small metal balls that fit into a special groove on his shoes which allow him to fling the balls at his opponents.

And he's not the weird one.

The other "swooping hawk" Gitano (Joseph P Persaud) doesn't do much...just the Flamenco Dance of Death.

I will repeat that for everyone who's mind just got blown. Flamenco. Dance. Of Death. Meditate on that one for a while.And the gang rides off! VIVA LA REVOLUTION!

Only it's never that simple.

See, while the Mexican revolutionaries are trying to steal the gold from the Austrians, this guy Ballantine (Dean Reed) is also going after the gold.

He's pretty much this movie's Banjo in that he already knows Sabata, teams up with Sabata, and then tries to betray him and the Mexican army at every turn to take the gold all for himself. His only quirk is that he needs to write everything down because he has a terrible memory.

But, wait, there's more!

Our villian, the Austrian Colonel Skimmel (Gerard Herter) is also trying to steal the gold from...uh, himself.

Guess the lure of gold was too much for the poor guy. Or his monocle is screwed in too tight.

It's a fine movie on us own. Yul Brynner is different from Cleef, more stoic, but it's a good contrast to the other actors who play pretty crazy characters. I think this is an example of a spaghetti western where if you don't take it too seriously, just let it wash over you, you'll get some laughs out of it.

Plus Sabata plays a mighty fine piano.

Didn't I mention that? HE PLAYS THE PIANO.

What a guy.

Pretty, pretty Angel Eyes

Angel Eyes aren't the first words that pop into my head when describing Lee Van Cleef. Maybe Evil Eyes or Face that Can Cut Glass or Mr. Awesome 'Stache.


Does he give you tingles in all the right places?

Cleef has done his fair share of spaghetti westerns. But I think this one deserves special mention. Ladies and Gents, I give you Sabata.

Hey Amigo! That's Sabata! AHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!

Sabata is part of yet another trilogy. *eyeroll* With the part of Sabata being played by Cleef in the first and third and Yul Brynner in the second. Uh, why? Of course it's because they look exactly the same!

$100,000 dollars is stolen by so-called "pillars of the community" to buy up land for their railroad-get-rich-quick scheme. Only they didn't count on one thing....Sabata! It's a great switcharoo with the wealthy townspeople as the bad guys and the riff-raff as the good. Cleef throws a monkey wrench in their plans by recovering the money. Of course, this means they got to kill him. The wackiest villian is hands down Stengel (Franco Ressel), who's just, well... I mean look at him!

Icky.

So Sabata teams up with the town drunk, Carrincha, and an Indian nicknamed Alley Cat because...he likes to sit on roofs.

And a good time was had by all!

Coincidentally, there's a banjo player hanging about who knows Sabata. Seems pretty innocuous, right?

Careful! That banjo's loaded!

There's obviously more to this guy than meets the eye!

Sabata has got everything I love about spaghetti westerns. Good plot, wacky characters, some awesome shoot outs, and a final betrayal.....or is it? As much as I'd love to spoil the ending, it's too too good.

So much for being the Bad. Lee van Cleef's got your back.

...SABATA!